My voice, becoming:
In every epoch, within every culture, women have always been fenced in. Womanhood is earned through life-long discipline. To be a woman is to mend what others have torn; to be mute, or transpose one’s speech to suit others’ tone; to shrink so that physical and emotional spaces can be “better used”; to be brave, but only tacitly so, and only in order to serve and protect a greater and more worthy group of folks. This truth manifests itself in physical reality. That is to say, a true woman is a broken woman; backs, jaws, fingers, hearts, psyches. As we push ourselves through each barrier, we fissure. Some splinters calcify, some never truly heal, and some force us to succumb to the disease our bodies already bear. A woman is a set of fractures. What can she do with her permanent-yet-ephemeral body and self? What avenues exist for growth, repair, self-care, and healing? Even our adornments are scorned. Somehow they remain either contrast or compliment to our faults. Never celebrated, or their absence mourned. I grieve for each year I kept away from decorating my flaws, and from rubbing scented oils on old, remindful scars. I weep at each moment where my boldness and femininity were denied their natural bond. I wear a ring in my nose so that these truths remain close.
“Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.”
- Proverbs 11:22
released January 19, 2017
Recorded July 27th, 2016 on Kaurna Land at Reception Project Space in Adelaide, South Australia.
Rework by Aviva Endean commissioned by Ari Sharp of (no)signal.
Mastered by Josten Myburgh.
Cover art is a still from "Soft Shock" (2015) by Kate Power.
Artist photograph by Shelley Horan.
This release was made possible by Tone List's commissioning project for women in experimental music, fully supported by Tura New Music.